Happy New Year

Well I have to say as far as New Years' go, this was a pretty good start. Admittedly we were a little concerned when we were yawning incessantly around four in the afternoon, fearing that we wouldn't even see the clocks strike twelve, but thankfully with a little good food and lovely company, we managed a very respectable entry into 2008.

However what would a New Year be without resolutions? I know many people resent the cliche but I quite like it. There has always been something a little magical about the start of a new year for me. Even as a child I used to love waking up on New Years Day - it was like there was a little more promise in the air - and I would embark on the day with a sense of purpose and vigour. Today was no different and, as we went about the days activities, the fresh excitment of new possibilities bounced around in my mind.

I know this is going to be a year of transformations. My husband is due to embark on a new and extremely fulfilling career towards being a paramedic and I cannot even begin to describe my excitement for him. This will not just be a 'job' for him. It's a vocation. A calling even. When we first met I used to joke that he must be an angel disguised as a man walking this earth because he has this uncanny ability of connecting with people when and how they most need it, and spreading a little magic wherever he goes (even now I still occasionally look for signs of the wings that I am sure are hidden between his shoulder blades). He has such a deep connection and love for people that permeates every interaction, people cannot help but be drawn in by his genuine interest. Recently we have been spending a lot of time at hospital because my mother had a stroke at the beginning of December and, it's amazing to watch, he is like a minor celebrity on the ward. He knows the name of every nurse, cleaner, patient and even most of their visitors! He talks and comforts those who are alone and afraid, holding their hands, whilst he waits with them for a nurse to come, or cracks jokes with the elderly ladies, making them blush and momentarily forget the pain and discomfort they are in, as they fall under the spell of his charms. He truly cares and it shows, and people are drawn to him because of it. Now he is about to make caring his lifes work. He will be attending to people at their most desperate and vulnerable times and he will hopefully bring them a little light, peace and comfort into those dark and scary moments. The world is a better place because of him.

Just as he has found his life's calling, I am embarking on the journey for mine. My resolution for the year is to be true to myself, even if it means looking fear and failure in the face. When I mentioned in my last post about my inability to be 'open' - I think a lot of it has to do with the fear of looking foolish. The fear of disclosing what my hopes and dreams are so that should I fail, it would be apparent and humiliating. Where that cruel fear comes from, I am not so sure, but it needs to be laid to rest. I am the first to encourage others in any endeavour, first to remind them that just by trying something, they have already shown strength and courage. I know this. I know, that ultimately, to succeed in anything you have to be prepared to fail, as Walter Brunell said, "Failure is the tuition you pay for success". So why have I been so fearful? To be honest I have spent far too long thinking about the reasons why, now I just need to get on with it. Who knows, maybe then the answer will come, but at least I'm not wasting any more time just thinking about it!

So there are three things three things I want to lay firm *foundations* for this year: writing, being a life artist and becoming a web designer. Instead of being fearful and embarassed of possible failure - I am publically declaring and celebrating the journey I am embarking on. I'm sure I will stumble along the way, but I am finally committed to the path. Committed to myself. This is definitely going to be a year to remember.