i've just started an online course with ali edwards and today was day 1.
yes, i am an online-course junkie, and proud of it too :)
anyhow, i digress...
task 1 was to make a list of possible stories you wanted to tell and,
as soon as ali said that, i felt my body seizing up.
all the usual gremlins began to rear their ugly little heads and i thought i was going to stumble at the first hurdle: what stories do i possibly have to tell?
but i followed her instructions nonetheless,
paused the presentation,
put on some music and sat pen in hand,
ready for 15 minutes of nothingness...
instead, what happened next surprised me.
i started writing.
it was as if the stories inside saw their one and only opportunity,
and leapt onto the page.
stories which i have purposely surpressed said,
"no ~ i want to be told,
because i define who you are today.
i am part of why you feel the way you do about this.
i deserve to be acknowledged,
heard, and understood."
although not all the ideas i had required intense soul diving,
a few made me a little uncomfortable, because to document something makes it real.
and it made me realise i have equal hesitation in owning moments that make me proud of myself, as i do with moments which have caused me deep pain.
but maybe this is part of the process.
part of the journey ~
with all that i am exploring, online and offline,
in a e-course or in my art journal.
it is ultimately about owning my story: past and present
honouring them, because they are a part of me~
because they make me who i am.
the fact they came up so unexpectedly tells me they want to be told ~
need to be told. be documented. be acknowledged.
and through owning these stories,
i will be celebrating myself.
what stories about yourself would you tell?