{2 week wait}

i've not really been present recently, which is ironic, as i have couldn't have been more present in one sense with all that has been going on in and out of my body! but all of a sudden, in this last week in particular, the cumulative experiences of our IVF journey seemed to hit me all at once. and it's thrown me a little off balance.

but now i am in what is known as the "2 week wait" where the furore of everything leading up to this point just stops. and there is this unfamiliar silence. stillness. where there is nothing to do, can do, but wait. initially it unnerved me somewhat and i found myself becoming obsessive about this egg, zygote, embryo (i didn't know what to call it!) floating inside me. i would think about it, surf the net researching about it, scour forums looking for any information about it... but i realised this was not necessarily a healthy and normal way to spend the next 12 days. nor sustainable really!

so i'm slowly finding myself again. taking with me all the good stuff i have been discovering about myself this last month, and moving forward with it. after all, if i am going to be a mother, there is no time like the present to lead by example!

i've missed doing the things that are important to me. writing. blogging. taking photos. scrapping. seeing friends. studying. loving my husband. playing with my dogs... they haven't been wholly neglected, but i have been a little distracted...

of course each and every day we are still praying for our miracle but, it's is out of our hands now and, until 13 november there is little more we can do: except be grateful and live fully. and that's exactly what i intend to do.