{be the change}

picture by the fabulous stacy, necklace from bellawish

happy new year.

following in the footsteps of a superhero, i am doing away with resolutions this year. in fact subsconsciously i was already rewriting my intentions for the new year, and they were not about things i wished to change about myself; but rather, they were all about things i wished to manifest for myself.

because now, as i stand before a landscape of new beginnings, i feel stronger. more certain about who i am and what i want for myself. last year i was unable to complete a mondo beyondo list because i was too scared. too timid to stand and declare my wildest dreams. too afraid of failure. embarassment.
i still am afraid of these things, but i've learnt this year not to let fear hold me back.

2008 has been a transformative year for me. it forced me to step outside my comfort zone and reach for the things important to me. it's still an ongoing journey, but at least i've laid the foundations. i gently opened my heart and, in doing so, i've experienced the sweet nectar of possibility. it's been a tough year too, but i've survived the bitter disappointment and failure. i stared my fears in the face and stepped right into them. and i found strength in my achievements.

2008 challenged my relationships too. it forced me to ask difficult questions of myself and of those around me. as a result, i've found new kindred spirits but i've also had to learn how to let go of old friendships. still, my marriage continues to inspire me. anchor me. and remind me of all that is good in the world. cam's new job, my mother's third stroke and our ivf journey, challenged us greatly and put our love and commitment for each other under scrutiny and strain. but we've come through stronger, and more in love. i am forever grateful for the most amazing gift i have in this man.

ultimately 2008 has allowed to me to heal some old wounds. it has allowed me to exorcise some old ghosts. it has allowed me to finally grow. blossom, and be who i've always wanted to be.

and so my word for 2009 is simply {be}. and i received the necklace above from my husband as a gift to remind me of my intention ~ i am enough, and so long as i be who i am, i will be the change.