my world view was seriously challenged last night.
there was a short documentary on tv last night questioning: would you save a stranger?
now i don't know why it took me by surprised really.
i work within the criminal justic system.
i have had lengthy conversations with cam on this subject, spurred on either by work, media, or even possibly an eye-witnessed incident.
i often live in fear of this very scenario - both as a victim or a bystander...
but watching it played out on tv, with real people describing their very real experiences made it hit home.
cam has a very strong sense of right and wrong.
i know (and have often feared) if he were ever to witness any such incident where someone was unfairly targeted or in danger of being hurt, he would intervene without a moments hesitation.
in fact our conversations have often revolved around my trying to disuade him from acting too hastily. after all, in this day and age, an intervention could lead to serious - if not fatal - injuries, as this documentary reiterated.
yet, although my very fears were reinforced by watching the programme, with the very dangers i was worried about, played out before me.
i realised more than ever, we - collectively - have to act.
to not intervene, to allow for others to feel they can rule by fear...
well that would be the beginning of the end of a civilised society.
it shocked me to see how in one of the accounts, recounted by the now 16 year old girl, she was brutally attacked in broad daylight on a packed bus and no one intervened.
she was 12 at the time.
she was kicked, jumped on, and repeatedly shouting for help.
yet a bus full of adults did nothing.
it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.
i can understand the fear.
the fear of what might happen if you stood up to a gang of seemingly wild youths.
the fear of stepping up or shouting out to someone in uncontrollable rage.
and the fear is very real.
but last night my fear of living in a society ruled by this became more pressing.
i used to believe, so long i was in a public place, i was safe.
because surely, if anything untoward happened, there were people around who would step in and help.
but if they don't step up to help a 12 year old on a bus, what hope do i have?
and that is not the kind of society i want to live in.
so i feel the fear. oh yes i do.
but i will never turn away from it now.
because my world is your world.
and i want you to know if you were in trouble, i would not hesitate to help you.
and i hope you feel the same way about me too.
7 comments:
IF you or anyone else were in trouble, I would not even hesitate. I would be there.
There is strength in numbers, and even if there is a risk, we must take it, otherwise we all accept the role of victim.
When I was about 12, I was on a bus riding home from school. The bus was full. A man came up to a stranger. There was no warning. No altercation. And he punched him.
Then they stood on the bus, side by side, silent. The whole bus was silent.
That was one of the most frightening and surreal experiences in my life. And very very saddening.
I never ever want to be a witness again, a bystander.
My first thought was "Of course, I would! I do it in my line of work all the time." But... the more I though about it, I'm sad to say that it would all depend on the situation. I think that I'd be less likely to act if my daughter was with me. I know that seems like the time I SHOULD be stepping up-- be an example. But if my actions would in any way put her in harm's way, I wouldn't do it. I know that I would at least call the police, but I wouldn't actually step in physically.
This really is a sobering realization.
I'm one of those people who dive in. But my worry is that I don't think about it enough first. Don't make a plan. And probably would just make things worse. I'd like to find the middle ground where I'd make a difference in a positive way.
Y'know when you hear a noise downstairs and KNOW it's burgulars? I'm the one who dives out onto the stairs clutching a rolled up magazine. Because that's really gonna help.
I got your back xx
I didn't watch that programme, although I had wanted to. I do believe that we have allowed fear to overcome our sense of right and wrong. The media doesn't help with the focus upon knife crime in Britain, it has made people less willing to step forward to help. I agree that we need to recognise again that there IS strength in numbers and we can make a difference.
Oh Pen! I have goosebumps!! This is a gorgeous post, on a personal and social level. I wonder about this too. Would I be brave enough?
When I was 14, we went to volunteer at a school in the city and I remember, so clearly, watching this woman take off her belt and hit her child with it. The two seniors I was with turned to each other and said "do we do something?" But ultimately decided not to. We walked by and went into the school. To this day, it haunts me that I didn't say something, do something. I don't know what would have even been the "right" thing to do, but I know the guilt of doing nothing is whole and heavy.
And even in the simplest acts like giving money to people on the street when they ask for it raises comments from my friends about why and how pointless it is, but walking by, doing nothing, pretending they don't exist, that POVERTY doesn't exist, seems so wrong to me. And I wonder when we seemed to forget that we're all human, why we draw these lines, why what seems so innately RIGHT to me can seem so wrong to others.
I would like to believe that I would be brave enough in the moment to save a stranger. Sometimes I worry that I'd be too consumed by the "what ifs." But I'll think of this post. I'll think of the day outside that school. I'll remember your beautiful, courageous, inspiring words. And I'll act. Because we have to. Because we owe to each other as fellow human beings.
I've missed you, dear friend. xoxoxo
wow, I hope the program shows in the u.s. it sounds fascinating.
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