it's the first full moon of the new year and so i thought i would draw a tarot card for inspiration, as i sat to think about my dreamboard for this month.
i picked the three of cups and, i have to admit, i was initially a little disappointed, as the meaning of the card wasn't immediately apparent to me...
the threes in a suit tend to relate to the initial successes of creative expression. it's a card of fulfilment; and the three of cups in particular talks of friendships and its joys.
so i sat and meditated on the message the card might have for me how it might relate to my desires for 2010... i was confused. but then it hit me.
i was lucky enough to have started this year in the company of some extraordinary women. it was a power full weekend where the energy was palpable and i still look back in awe at being part of the experience.
and there is a particular moment which sticks in my mind; when dear lisa and i were tucked in the corner doing a tarot reading. sas had left a notebook in the nook where she invited us to write freely as we are called to. so, after the reading, lisa and i leafed through it and found one of sweet leonie's hair tingling, heart moving, poems. as always, i was in awe, and acknowledged out loud to lisa how incredible i thought leonie was. lisa nodded in agreement and said, "but so are you. that is why you are here."
i don't recall how i responded. but i assume with my usual, slightly awkward and embarassed laugh, and possibly even a quiet thank you. but those words have been dancing around me ever since.
because it is hard for me. so very hard to feel that i am an equal in the company of these women. they ooze talent, inspiration, originality, wisdom, style, wit, creativity... from every pore, and i feel so... so ordinary by comparison.
but this card is telling me it's time to step up to the table and take my seat. to believe in my own worth and enjoy the magic that comes from the union of like minded souls. jamie asks "what is your heart yearning for? what is stirring in your heart and soul? what is ready to come into your life, here under the full moon?" and this is it. i am ready to believe in my own worth, and embrace the hand of friendship these wonderful women have reached out to me. i am ready to be me, and believe i bring something to the table too. i am ready to step outside of my own shadow, and howl my desire to the moon.
what's your yearning?
14 comments:
~may you FEEL and KNOW all you wish to BRING forth into your life...you ARE an amazing unique highly creative and talented one...i stumbled upon your blog and have adored every bit that you have written and or created (i only wish to draw as you do and many others)...may you BLOOM ever more into who you are...its a quite delightful woman...may all you wish to bring forth in your life come to be under our full moon...i like you just as you are but can't wait to watch you step outside! brightest blessings~
Lovely post~ It is important to step out from our own shadows and believe in ourselves. May all you wish for be fulfilled~ Thanks for stopping by my blog too. I am also grateful for finding like minded, creative souls
~Theresa
the very last thing you are, my sweet friend, is ordinary - you are EXTRAORDINARY! OWN it, sister xox
You absolutely deserve a seat around the table Penny, you are very inspiring yourself - you just need to know you are! Love Emma x
honey, the table would be missing something very special if you didn't take your seat. i believe in you.
xxx
oh penny, the irony in all of this is that i was so humbled and inspired to be in YOUR presence. it's the shift from separate to among that is powerful, no? i adore you, and am so very grateful to take a seat at the table with you.
you're rocking the world, sister.
so much love. lisa
Ditto to Faerwillow's comment. I'm so happy you are accepting your worth, value, talent, etc. You remind me to do the same.
I have only recently been able to get 'round to read your posts (from Shimelle's class last November) and I must say that they all speak to me. As a woman who struggles with my own worth, I identify with this post of yours... I'm on my own journey... I hope to be as successful as you are!
A big bravo for you. This is called stepping into power and it's mind-blowing to learn its right use and become accustomed to being fully, unapologetically yourself.
my goodness Penny, you are anything but ordinary. You are amazing. I was a fan before I met you, and now I am an ever bigger one. You glow.
I know how you feel though, I feel very ordinary compared to the others... I wonder if its because I don't feel equal to the power that was our weekend. But maybe without each of us it wouldn't have existed.
I love you.
my yearning?
to hear your howl! Teehee xx
what a wonderful post, I love your dreamboard, the visuals you chose and the way you put them together, time to step out of the shadows indeed, your are a wonderfully creative person, it oozes from your blog. I really like the mood the visuals create.
May your full moon dreams come true.
My goodness Penny, you're incredibly talented, intelligent and beautiful. Kick those self doubts to the curb honey, you are loved :-)
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