i got news yesterday that an old dear friend has recently had her heart cruelly broken. my first instinct was to reach out ~ to offer my heart in consolation whilst we tended to hers... but i couldn't as, just over a year ago, we fell out and have not spoken since. worst yet, she had passed on explicit instructions that she did not wish for me to know of this news.
it makes me so sad that a friendship which was once so important to both of us has come to this today... and that at a time when she most needs her friends, i cannot be there for her. how did this happen? why do we allow our gremlins to take over and destroy the precious connections we work so hard to create?
the wonderfully wise and inspiring sas wrote a post not so long ago which actually made me think of this friend. although the circumstances were different, there were similarities which led to the demise of my friendship. replace love and men, with pregnancy and ivf; and you have the basic ingredients.
but i did attempt to reach out to my friend a little while back, to own my responsibilities and offer an olive branch extended from the roots of our friendship. sadly i didn't hear from her, but was informed that her then husband (the same one who has now abandoned her) would have encouraged her not to respond. and so she didn't. and i let her go, respecting her silence.
it hurts me that maybe it wasn't just her husband who didn't want her to reconcile with me, but that she didn't either.
nevertheless, on the off chance she may happen across this post, i just wanted her to know my heart breaks for her, and i hope she finds solace and comfort in the friends she has around her; but i'll still be here waiting if she wants an old shoulder to cry on.
1 comment:
i love the picture... my mom used to have a westie but unfortunately we had to let him go due to cancer :( anyways i can relate to this but i hope that she does have friends & family to lean on in her time of need and that maybe one day you guys can reconnect. :(
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