10 of Swords

The moments leading up to Anthony allowing himself to fall from the edge of the cliff.  The mental anguish you can see in his face.  That.  That is the 10 of swords.  All that and the moment of... 

release.

I've always had an aversion towards the suit of Swords, so I wasn't exactly thrilled at drawing this card last night.  The imagery for the Swords is often dark and depressing and generally makes me feel uneasy, but I guess that's the reason for this card.  It is meant to be uncomfortable, because the mind can be the biggest enemy of creativity.  Staring at a blank page in front of me, my fears of being wrong, of being ridiculed, of getting hurt - of dying even (honestly, sometimes the fear of dying and the thought of my journals being read can stop my flow!) are all products of my mind which debilitate.  

It's a shame because the mind has good intentions, she's just a little over protective, taking it upon herself to protect me from unseen dangers, even when I haven't asked for it.  This unfortunately then triggers the internal conflict which often leaves me in a state of paralysis.  

"Don't do it. You'll regret it."
"Don't write it. You'll be embarrassed."
"Don't draw it. You'll look ridiculous."

I received this card in response to my question about what this renewed enthusiasm in art, blogging and tarot means, and the 10 of Swords indicates that I'm on the precipice of discovering this.  But to succeed I need to be embrace my fear - feel it, acknowledge it, maybe even thank it - then, like Anthony, I need to find the courage to fall backwards into the unknown.