Full Moon in Gemini

image from here

I love any opportunity for a new beginning, and although every morning we wake up is effectively one, I do like imbuing certain times and days with more potency.  So a full moon in Gemini (my Sun sign) seems to have a little magic around it, and I'm grabbing that.

New moons are great for setting new intentions, but apparently (so they say) a full moon is equally powerful, particularly if the intention requires a release of some sort as it wanes with the moon.  As such it's a great to time to start a cleanse or a detox, or take action towards letting go of something.

For me, this is nicotine.

I've smoked on and off for most of my adult life now.  I did manage to give up for 6 years - 6 YEARS - but foolishly started again about 4 years ago, and I have been enjoying it ever since.  And that's the hard part.  Yes, it is an addiction.  But I do actually enjoy it.

So I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and trying to break it down.  Chemical effect aside, I wanted to work out what I thought I gained from smoking, and how could I replace that?  Food is not an option.  I think I put on about 5 pounds every time I try and give up, and the thing is - it never actually goes away, even when I start smoking again - so over the years, these have added up!  Food is not an option.

Then it dawned on me.  A big reason I smoke, and what probably makes up a large part of the enjoyment is - it's a break.  It's a reason to stop editing for 5 minutes.  Or, when I'm writing, like now, and I feel a little stuck, it's the pause button.  Roll a cigarette and think about it.

I read this article awhile back, and clearly it had no affect on my resolution (give up smoking), but something about it remained with me, and I dug it out tonight.  "If you want to pull yourself out of the couch of your status quo, you need to be totally impassioned and in love with a new vision for you and your life."

Right now, as much as I love my job, I am in editing hell.  Everyone wants their pictures before Christmas (understandable) but I feel like I am a slave to my computer.  It's especially torturous as, for the first time in what feels like a long time, I am being really drawn to other things, and I feel a new vision for my life.   So I'm thinking, starting tomorrow, every time I have a craving for a cigarette, I will give myself a quick break to do a sketch or work on an idea - anything that takes me a step closer to realising this new vision, no matter how small. Now that's a break that I might just give up smoking for.

Yikes.  I've said it now.